I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
