You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
