If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
