he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
smell my finger.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
