Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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