Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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