normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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