problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
