Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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