Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
