Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
