I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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