Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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