Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
