Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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