I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
