i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
