she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
my poor anus
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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