I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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