so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Are we still banned from the library?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
