what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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