He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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