Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
MIDGETS
????
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
