i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
