If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
