You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
