yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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