Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
