So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
