I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
