If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
