I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
two words...techno handjob
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
