You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
A bitchslap is in order.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
