She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
