Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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