I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
