look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
