I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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