singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
