I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We talked him into tasing himself.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
