There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
