lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
