The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
