Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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