I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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