what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
