I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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