I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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