we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
