I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
