as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
